call me clueless but I.dont.get it!

Ladies. We are special breed that is for sure. But I am continuously baffled particularly by certain things we do. Why are we so hard on ourselves, and then think that the next girl must have it easier then we do? Hmm..
I am currently in Costa Rica, pretty freaking cool. And although I find myself far from mainstream fashion, I still catch the typical American remarks..
"I need to tan.."
"I'm in Costa Rica and NOT tan enough!"
"Usually I am much darker than this."
"I'm so pale!"
Trust me, I very much like a bronze look to myself as well. But what's with spending all your time laying out for the sole purpose of getting dark?
I'm confused, on one hand I see the point. But on the other hand I want to laugh at myself and all the other girls and go play in the water.
In this culture, light skin is beautiful and signifies higher class. The whiter the better.
How about when it comes to curves? Ha! Everyone has a different answer for that too.
People are funny, that is my point.
Balance is my answer, that is all that makes sense to me.

That bitter taste..

It is amazing to me what hurt can do to a person. You know what I'm talking about, that pain that we try to throw to the back of our minds, until we realize, through some circumstance, that it is still dwelling there. How do we rid ourselves of it completely? Maybe it was created by something we don't even remember. I think that hurt is a number one thing that stands in the way of us. Sometimes I think we put too high of expectations on others, and eventually are let-down. For example, we may look up to a good friend, and take their advice like it is straight from God (not a good idea, ever), and then once we see that they are human too, and let us down like every other human, we become isolated and even bitter. Friends, how do we over come this? It may mean more than a heart-to-heart, it may take time and time again to regain that trust, but I think that it is far greater than hiding hurt.

All things can be made new..

Small Encounters cont..

(See previous post).. So I saw the old man again.. This time I decided to turn around and wave, he gave me the biggest smile; he has got to be the cutest little old man I have ever seen.

Small Encounters

So today I was at the rec center, when I saw a slightly hunched, older man pushing his walker down the track. As I came nearer, I had a strong and sudden urge to pat him on the back, as if to say, "Hey, you're doing a good job," or if anything, just to say hello. But right before I did, a woosh of reality came over me... "What am I thinking?" "This guy could think you're crazy!" "You can't just pat an older man on the back!" Maybe I was too severe on myself; but that prompted me to start thinking about our culture, full of "personal bubbles." I'm quite sure that compared to other cultures, we are considered very closed-off. Now, I can't say that I have NOT adapted to this way of thinking.. For example, a couple weeks ago, I was with a few guy friends attending a Reggae band performance. I was kind of dancing around, having fun, and then I turned around to see a Latina lady looking at me. She was sweet, introducing herself and saying some things I couldn't really understand, mostly because we were right next to the speakers. Anyway, I just thought she was exceptionally friendly and then for some reason she reached for my hand and kissed it. "She's hitting on me!" I thought. Well, it turns out she's really just that friendly with a lot of people. I'm still not sure why she kissed my hand, but that's my point.. I wonder if I was in another country, and culture, would I have been bothered by that at all? Or would that just be a sign of friendly affection? Who knows, I just wish I could give an old man walking with his walker, a pat on the back, and not feel like an idiot.

Oh the Little Ladies.

This is just too great. I am attempting to study at Panera, and am sitting near a group of older ladies.. I hear them chuckle at one of their friends who explains that her solar sunglasses (you know, the real dark, real big ones) don't quite do the job. So when even one ray of light comes through she has to close that eye. Haha, watch out. The friends thought it was pretty funny too. Anyway, this just makes me hope that someday, if I ever reach their golden age, I will have a group of cackling friends to shoot the breeze with.

Day to Day.

Do you ever "freeze" a moment, sort of look around and ask yourself, "Where am I?" What I mean is, did you ever imagine you would be where you are right now? I actually do this often... I'll think about where I've been and what I'm in the process of doing and just take a second to marvel at the present. One thing that I particularly think of often is my job at a rather quaint, bistro and coffee shop. Yes, I am a BARISTA. Isn't that such a cool name?! My employment here never fails to surprise me and enlighten me. Ha, but the main intriguing factor is definitely the people. I have become friends with many awesome people including two math professors (who even came out with me on my 21st)! A lovely lady from Italy that I now exchange random e-mails when she is away to Europe, and a new friend of mine from Turkey was even thoughtful enough to bring me Turkish Delights straight from Turkey! I have the pleasure of meeting people from every place in their simple pursuit of a good cup of coffee. One special guy in particular recently gave me a birthday card, no writing, just signed with his name, that made my birthday complete. We call him Fred, and his favorite thing to do is give an unsuspecting victim the ol' bunny ears. So, all in all, when I stop and think for a moment about what is going on, I am usually pleased with what I see.